In a move to further confirm the assumptions of jocks and parents world-round, Sony has patented a controller that looks like some sort of a cross between a Star Trek phaser and a novelty item for children that you see in magazines that sell cheap Chinese crap designed to waste batteries and break. To further engender the lusty gaze of Star Trek fans you can slap the controllers together to make something that looks sort of like a Bat'leth. (Please note that I put a considerable amount of time into finding out the name of that weapon... I can assure you that I've never spent this much time looking up a Star Trek related item that didn't involve 7 of 9 porn.)

All derisive comments aside, this looks like a really neat piece of kit. It can sense like 58 billion things like relative motion, and everything else that the Wii remote can't even come close to doing. Additionally, since it teams up with the PlayStation Eye it can sense body and facial motion. All-in-all, it looks as if Sony could have something amazing on their hands if they can bring it out for a reasonable price, and supply a constant stream of quality software based on the technology including third party support.

The game will be entitled, Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction. Brian Allgeier, design director said, "The name Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction works on many levels. It signals a new era for the franchise, ties into the game's story, and includes one of our signature subtitle double entendres."

Uros Rogulja, Chief Operating Officer of Gameyus, said: "We’re very happy to be working with Strategy First to bring Alliance Future Combat to North American strategy fans. Strategy First, like us, always focus on innovative strategy titles that provide gamers with a new and challenging experience. We believe “Alliance” will satisfy even the most demanding strategy fans, and we say that because everybody in our team is an avid gamer as well. We invite all fans to let us know what they think of Alliance, and to send us their suggestions for our future titles."

No word on a release date.

The team over at Free Radical would have a hard time shaking the title “the makers of Goldeneye for the Nintendo 64.” But if your development studio had that label, would you mind? Of course not – because Goldeneye (developed by Rare employees who later broke off to create Free Radical) is generally accepted as the best N64 game that ever was. The reason I mention this is that everybody who’s anybody has played Goldeneye at some time (if not, go find a used N64 and a copy). Therefore, everybody should have a good idea of how the Timesplitters series plays once it’s in your hands. Timesplitters: Future Perfect is the third in the series that began on the PS2, and is essentially very much like the famous 007 game in terms of the controls, pace, and core gameplay mechanics.

Of course, Timesplitters doesn’t follow the exploits of an agent of espionage. Instead it revolves around Sergeant Cortez – space marine extraordinaire. Cortez is always trying to keep the time crystals away from evil mutant monsters called (you guessed it) timesplitters. Each Timespliiters game sends players back and forth through different eras on a mission to collect the time crystals before they fall into the wrong hands. These are first-person shooter games that are fast, colorful, and frantic – and most importantly never take themselves too seriously.

Timesplitters: Future Perfect is the third game in the series, and while it will be familiar to veterans of the sequence, it does add a few twists to the gameplay experience. For one thing, past games had players take control of characters living in each particular time period, taking on their forms. In the newest game, players will be Cortez throughout the entire story. But don’t fret – that doesn’t mean the game isn’t chock full of quirky new characters that will assist you (or defy you). In fact, don’t be surprised to see plenty of cameos from returning favorites like Harry Tipper (Austin Powers wannabe) and Khallos (cat-stroking maniacal fool bent on world domination). And monkeys.

Yes, monkeys. As previously mentioned, the Timesplitters games aren’t to be taken seriously. How can you take a game seriously that features a multiplayer mode called “Monkey Assistant” which unleashes a crack team of assassin monkeys into the foray armed with machine guns whenever someone falls behind in the scores? Or a mode where you race Khallos’ remote control cat around makeshift courses, effectively making you stare at it’s puckered (this is a family website) the whole time, as it bangs into walls and screeches, meows, and tips over constantly? There’s humor here for everyone. Some of the jokes are subtle, such as when your partner disguises you as a doctor and tells you, “Remember, your name is Gordon.” And then there’s the opposite end of the spectrum: Harry Tipper dresses as a woman and henceforth walks around with his elbows at his waist and his hands waving around in front of him, later being hit on by a male guard. If anybody plays through the entire game (and multiplayer modes) without laughing, stick a mirror in front of his or her mouth and see if it fogs up. It’s not that Timesplitters: FP is hilarious, but the zaniness certainly makes the experience more enjoyable.

The graphics on Timesplitters: FP are improved over the previous versions. They are incredibly vibrant and colorful. Each game in the series has been known for moving at a gloriously smooth framerate, although they are never graphics akin to Half-Life 2 or Halo (either one). Still, refinements have been made over the years, and the environment textures seem much more detailed this time around – especially on the island level and the haunted house. There are also some new special distortion effects throughout the game. They may not be technically demanding, but the effect when the mothership explodes on level one, or anytime you throw a time grenade or use the manipulator is impressive. The game showcases the usual assortment of different levels and time periods, ranging from Khallos’ secret base, to a moving train, to a haunted mansion, to a Terminator 3 robot war, to the earlier part of the 20th century. It’s all here to ensure the environments never get too stale.

Everything is pretty exaggerated in the universe Free Radical created – especially the characters. Still, there is a noticeable improvement in the character models over those of yesteryear. There are definitely more polygons being spent on each person, especially noticeable in their faces. You can really see this in Cortez’s expressions, which are often priceless. When he unwittingly signals the Navy to begin their artillery barrage on the island he needs to retrieve a time crystal from, you can read the “Damn, am I an idiot” look in his face once he realizes his mistake.

Whole body animations are also superb, as always, providing evidence of a development team that had way too much fun doing motion-capture. Why else would the entire ending credits roll while a disco dancing Cortez cuts loose on a glowing dance floor in the background? Plus, enemies always react to hits appropriately, reeling around, grabbing their wounds or what have you. This is something Free Radical has always done well since the Bond game, and still seems painfully missing from several first-person shooters, such as the Red Faction games where enemies don’t react at all when hit (until they die, that is). Characters are further brought to life with appropriate voiceacting. That isn’t to say it is Hollywood caliber, but it suits the game perfectly. There is certainly talent, and the voices feel right at home with each character.

The storyline in Timesplitters is nothing too special, but is great for the game’s overall tone. It’s essentially the same thing as before, visit the past, visit the future, and visit the distant past, the distant future, etc. to gather all of the time crystals. Future Perfect does introduce some Back to the Future situations that make you question the logic of how the same person could be two places at once because of time travel. Try not to think about it too much when you run into your future self, or your head might explode. However, this does mean you’ll have a good idea of where you’re about to be and what you’ll soon be doing…before you actually go and do so. Now I’m confused again. Suffice it to say, there’s even one point where you’ll see no less than four Cortez’s in the same room, and you will (eventually) control each one.

In addition to the single-player mode (which can be played cooperatively split-screen), Timesplitters: FP comes with tons of extras. You can play the various challenges to earn medals, which unlock cheat codes (like “Viking hats” or “thin players”). These range from the aforementioned “cat racing” to breaking every plate in a restaurant with bricks, to knocking the heads off of zombies. Easily the strangest one asks you to keep battery-powered cyber monkeys dancing on the disco floor with the electrotool weapon, careful not to let them run out of juice (or over-juice them to death). Cyber monkeys were (according to the developers’ note in the game) “inevitable, really.”

Arcade mode also returns, which lets players without Xbox Live (or any real friends) play multiplayer against bots. The other reason is of course to unlock more cheats and awards. As usual, Timesplitters delivers its normal fare of multiple game types rather than limiting the options to simply “Deathmatch” or “CTF.” I don’t have the space to describe each type, suffice it to say there should be at least a couple that strike your fancy. You can unlock 150 different characters for use in arcade mode or online. Everything is possible, from Cortez, to henchman, to zombies, monkeys, a bear, and even a robot with a fish tank on his head. Xbox Live also works very well, and it’s about time the series went online. Finding a game is easy enough, although I was kicked out of one after only one match. I can only assume that the players didn’t like that I constantly honked the horn of the jeep before I ran them over from behind. At least I gave them a warning. Sore losers.

Timesplitters: Future Perfect does a lot of things right, both in its single and multiplayer modes. The single-player game is funny, incredibly charismatic, and a blast to play. Plus, it lets you play the actual game cooperatively, rather than limiting the experience to separate mini-missions. My complaint, then, is that it is over too quickly. You’re looking at a story mode that would be possible to complete in one sitting, although we’re realistically talking about two or three sessions.

Also, in the cooperative play I ran into one problem. Although the mode itself is a great treat, on some levels a friend and I became very disoriented due to the “warping” of whichever player is lagging behind when the other makes progress to a certain point. I found these “points” too frequent, and at one time I was warping back and forth so quickly and often that I was completely confused about which direction I was facing and which room I ended up in.

While on Xbox Live, I also found it difficult to understand just how the game wants you to select your character model. You can only choose it before joining a server, and once there, cannot change it without exiting. Even so, sometimes I’d join a server only to end up playing as a random character other than the one I’d selected. I’m still not sure how the game decides when to choose for you. I also am a bit disappointed to see that, so far, it’s an exercise in patience to get players to join a server for one of the stranger gametypes. Getting players for Deathmatch is a cinch, but try starting a Gladiator server, and prepare to wait a while. Still, the game hasn’t been out very long yet, so here’s hoping we get more diverse players to pick it up from stores.

Oh, and why is there a Half-Life 2-ish manipulator gun in the game if you only use it once or twice?

Timesplitters: Future Perfect is a worthy successor to the series. The graphics show a noticeable improvement, and still run at what feels like 1,000 frames per second. You don’t realize how big a difference that can make to a game until you see it in action. It plays with that familiar Goldeneye style, which is great, plus it’s full of slapstick humor and just random oddness. In other words, it’s simply a good time for any FPS fan. The single-player story might be over quickly, but there are still hours of challenges to complete, and that’s before you even connect to Xbox Live. Free Radical isn’t going anywhere for a long while.

Varied, frantic, and wonderful

A step up from last time. Still not on par with the latest games

Great voice work and sound effects. No complaints here.

There’s a ton to do. Combat is engaging, the game makes you laugh, and monkeys dance the disco

Xbox Live certainly helps, but so does coop play and the range of crazy challenges.

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